The Battle for Your Home
Every great dream requires a price—and the dream of a happy marriage is no exception. If you want a fulfilled life, you must avoid the crippling regret of "had I known." The price of knowledge is discipline: the willingness to identify the true enemy of your joy.
That enemy is hatred. It is a strong, ill-minded dislike for someone, and the Bible clearly describes it as a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:22), while defining love as a fruit of the spirit.
Hatred: The Head Agent of Destruction
Hatred is the agent that fuels the ill-wind in any relationship. It breeds:
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Fear and Distrust
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Nastiness and Bitterness
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Quarrel and Debauchery
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Accusation and Depression
A heart glowing with hatred cannot genuinely love. Any journey started with this mindset is destined for failure. Many homes are currently at the verge of collapse because they are nurturing hatred. A relationship that harbors this negative emotion, regardless of the reasons behind it, will eventually break.
The Master’s Example: Love Your Accusers
Hatred for anyone—no matter what they have done to you—is unacceptable to God. Jesus Christ gave us the ultimate example: He loved His accusers, even those who nailed Him to the cross. We are called to emulate the Master by loving everyone, no matter how difficult the circumstances.
• Your Reward is Secured: Maintain the good seed you sow. Though man may not recognize or appreciate it now, that seed will surely germinate. God will correct all things in His time, turning your obscurity into a fruit of joy and a testimony for others. Your appointed blessing is waiting for those who never give up despite the painful path.
Love: The Mature and Liberal Response
Love is the only antidote to hatred. It is defined by its maturity, selflessness, and action:
• Love is Unselfish: It does not seek its own advantage or checkmate opportunities to mistreat others.
• Love is Liberal: It is a problem-solver that always finds a way to reach out and give someone's life meaning. As Proverbs 11:25 states, "The liberal soul shall be made fat; and he that watered shall be watered also himself."
• Love is Responsible: The definition of maturity is responsibility. Love makes you responsible for your vows and commitments. It compels you to action, while hatred makes you deaf to responsibility.
Love also compels you to seek peace. We are responsible to God and our family to pursue peace and pray for it, "for in the peace thereof shall you have peace" (Jeremiah 29:7). Don't let hatred discourage you; let God’s love encourage you to intervene through prayer for the sake of peace.
A Call to Continuous Love
Every happy marriage has a painful path, and without the test, there is no testimony. If God loves us when we are imperfect, we must extend that same grace to our spouse.
Your love can do anything you need in the relationship. Start with love, continue with love, give with love, reason with love, and react with love in everything. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person, despite all the hatred and depressions projected by external or extended relations.
Your love has the power to change the hatred around you.
Your love can change the hatred around you if you can allow God in.
According to 1 Corinthians 7:5- the word of God said “Defraud not one another except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayers ; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence”. Verse 3 of the same place said “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband”. However, so much engagement often make this advice ineffective. Many happily married spouses have despaired to quit their relationship. Some are on the verge of doing so while others are still managing the relationship. Many problems of childlessness are as a result of adequate time to have sex.
ReplyDeleteRecently, in Isiala Ngwa North Local Government Area of Abia State, Nigeria, there was a problem between Kenneth and Joy. This forty year old man married Joy for the past ten years and had no child in the relationship. Joy had been a very good peasant farmer assisting and supporting her husband who was repatriated from Gabon. Kenneth‘s quest to fill his gap of unfulfilled life and dreams led him to learn so many artisan works which keep him more busier daily and late from work. They were very industrious and articulate. Their daily schedules often disallow them satisfying their sexual needs. They have quarrel over this severally. They hardly have time to communicate effectively. Their meeting daily is towards late in the night. One day, Joy thought that her inability to get pregnant was her husband’s faults and so termed it lack of love for her and love for money. Kenneth continuously laid the blame of their childlessness on her wife. This perhaps could be that Kenneth has gone for medical check-up privately and found himself potent, but, her wife never believed his claim. His curiosity to prove his ability led him to impregnate a teenager near his workshop. Unfortunately, the peaceful relationship spouts up strife.
What could you say are responsible for this marriage crisis and what could you recommend as antidote for this kind of crisis?